A Little Break
by Lluvia-the-Wolfgirl
Summary: Little things, poems, oneshots, drabbles, all dedicated to Rose.
1. The choker

"Maybe this journey is just a little break for me." Rose.

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I stand

in the crow's nest

watching the waves

dance below me

he always

smelled like the sea

always

the sea makes me

remember them

but it makes me forget

that they are dead

I dream up here

so close to the sky

I pretend it never happened

combing now and then

into a paradise

paradise...

I hate Soa

this is all his fault

if it weren't for him...

I find myself fingering my choker

I take it off

stare at it

then slowly

expeirmently

hold it

over the side

dark purple

against

light green-blue

it sways

as I hold only one end

it sways

I sway

the ship sways

the world sways

I wonder

what if

it fell?

my grip loosens

it falls

shining darkly

"Hey, Rose!"

comes a call

I return to reality

I grab it

refasten it

and turn to face the caller

I think I fastened it too tightly

it hurts

they call it a choker

how approprite

it certaintly

chokes me


	2. Early Morning

In the darkness

of the early morning

before the sun rises

before the birds begin to sing

she walks

not wanting to rest

though her eyes struggle

and her body begs for sleep

she fears her dreams

silently

she walks

the only sound

the faint crack

of twigs and leaves

beneath her boots

and then

comes a quiet whisper

"I wish I could help you..."

and she wonders

who spoke?

was it a ghost

or was it her?


	3. Reminded

I am reminded.

He reminds me of Zieg.

I am attracted to him, but not the same way as I was with Zieg. I am not interested in Dart as a lover. I'm not interested in him in that way. I want to follow him, want to be a part of whatever he does.

Zieg had that same quality.

I think Syviel called it 'Charisma'.

Shana reminds me of myself. Not myself now, myself before. Before everything fell apart. Before...

But then again, we are completly different. She is sweet and gentle, while I was a tomboy, and a trouble maker.

Maybe it's only the innocence...

It's strange. It's hard to beleive I was ever innocent.

It's hard even for me...

My memories of that time are fading. It's sad.

I've lived for far too long.

But I can't stop now.

The people of this world need me.

And I can't let my friends' sacrifice go to waste.


	4. Trust

This is after Lloyd blasts Dart and Rose, and they fall, and Rose hits her head. This is when she wakes up.

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When I come to

Meru is gently

Lowering me

Into Haschel and Albert's arms

I open my mouth

They shush me

Telling me I was hurt

Telling me to rest

Miranda tells me

To shut up

I'm only hurting myself

But her tone

Is almost gentle

Trust

It's a funny thing

Isn't it?


	5. Tapestry

In my dreams

I see a tapestry

I see so many things

In this tapestry

I see

my life

_The choice I made_

The choice the haunts

My every hour

Sleeping and waking

The choice I contsantly reconsider

Wondering

Couldn't I have done

Something different?

But I know

it makes no difference now

_I see the choker offered_

The way she held it out to me

Like it was a prize

Instead of

A curse

_I see the choker accepted_

The way I grasped it

Snatched it from her hand

Knowing that

If I hesitated

I wouldn't be able

To do it

_The tears I cried_

I remember

Michael

I rested

Against his huge dragon head

We sat there

Staring at the sea

Listening

To the waves

Both mourning

A dragoon and a dragon

Both weeping

_I see the blood I spilled_

I never thought I would

Need courage for killing

It was easy

In battle

You on one side

Your enemy on the other

It was kill

Or be killed

But it's different

When the "enemy"

Is a baby

in a cradle

who smiles at you

sometimes I wonder

why I haven't gone insane

sometimes I wonder

if I am insane

_I see my blood shed by others_

that has happened

many, many times

over the years

it's a wonder

that I am not dead

but then again

I am immortal

_I see this_

_and so much more_

_in the tapestry_

_of my life_

among this tapestry

shine a few, golden threads

my memories

of my old friends

laughing with Shirley

listening to demia

watching Belzac

in a debate with Svyveil

fighting with Kazas

walks at night with Zieg

these memories remind me

of why I keep fighting

and keep

killing

but these golden threads

are far outnumbered

by threads

of a darker nature

of a color that has no name

but remind me

Of died blood

on an unclean sword

but most of the threads

are pale lackluster colors

that is no color at all

not even gray

those threads are

the days I did nothing

but walk

because there was nothing else

I could do

except sleep

I don't want to sleep

I am

afraid

of my dreams


	6. History

I am Rose, and I am focused on them. I listen to them, with my back towards them and my face towards the bright lights and sounds of the ballroom party, refusing each man who asks to dance with me.

Dart and Shana are what I'm focused on right now.

They repeat the words Zieg and I told each other on that day, so many many years ago.

I'm standing here, arms crossed, and my chest constricts, threatening to crush my heart, and I force myself to breathe out slowly.

It's okay. It's alright.

I won't let them have the same fate. For one thing, Shana is too fragile to handle my fate.

When I look at those two, and even right now, just hearing them and looking around the ballroom, I feel something I haven't felt in a long time.

Hope. And also…a little bit of happiness.

I was going about my own business mechanically. I was beginning to forget what it was that I was fighting for.

It was so that everyone could have a chance to be happy.

Like Dart and Shana, standing outside now, blissful and obvious.

They truly love each other, you can just tell, just by watching them together.

Its okay, it's alright.

Tonight, I'm at peace. Tonight, and perhaps for many nights to come, I'm with friends. I'm safe. When Dart and Shana come out and the party ends, we'll all walk to our rooms and Meru will still be bouncing and Albert will dreamily stare in space and talk of Emily, and Dart and Shana will hold hands and smile, and Haschel will tease all of them, and I'll just smile.

It's okay. It's alright.

They've come out now, and they're dancing, and he holds her tightly, but gently, and she's resting in his arms, trustingly looking up at him.

It's okay.

Its better that they don't know about me. I am the fate-slayer, the destroyer of destiny, and I will keep them safe.

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Yes, after all these years, I have updated! (throws back arms dramatically)Poor Rose, haven't written anything for her in so long...

Need to replay that game...


End file.
